


if i give myself up (to these circumstances)

by putarrilla



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Minor Astra/Alex Danvers, anxious!lucy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-24 15:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17103011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/putarrilla/pseuds/putarrilla
Summary: it should not take her this long to make up her mind, it should not be this difficult for her to justask someone out. she's done tougher things. but Alura looks at her and her heart explodes and it sets off an alarm inside her. she feels paralyzed and it takes a wedding and a few good pushes for Lucy to take a chance.





	if i give myself up (to these circumstances)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alsike](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alsike/gifts).



> majorly judging you is definitely not my expertise but I saw this prompt and I simply couldn't _not_ write it for them. hope you like it. merry christmas, @alsike  
> also, if you'd like to have a better image of the clothes described in this piece, here is what I had in mind while writing:  
> [Lucy](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/57/a8/83/57a8835671d957f027461d2c25feaed5.jpg)  
> [Alura](https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.462757561.5544/flat,750x1000,075,t.u1.jpg)  
> [Alex](http://chyler-leigh.org/photos/albums/Events/2017/28thAnnualGLAADMediaAwards/0085.jpg)  
> [Astra](https://images.bwwstatic.com/upload11/1332311/tn-500_lindabenanti_laurabenanti.jpg)

It is the last thing she wants to do. Louis had convinced her to go on a family lunch, somewhere public where Dad would be forced to behave and they could all pretend they were still an unity. What her sister always forgets, however, is that their father has long ago lost his public decor over things he feels he’s right about. So of course they fight.

She stands fifty minutes of his _aliens are a menace they should all be killed_ bullshit before snapping.

They won’t be welcomed to that restaurant again, she is very much aware of that and, as a cherry on top of the fucking cake, there’s horrible traffic on the way back to her place. Lucy arrives thirty minutes late and the mere thought of having to get ready to a wedding party makes her insides shiver.

It is _honestly_ the last thing she wants to do, but she reminds herself it is Alex as she pops in the shower. It is Alex and Astra and she still remembers the proposal, the way Alex had covered her mouth with her hands, a gasp falling from muffled lips. She remembers the rare moment of vulnerability and she knows this is it for her friends, so she manages to take a shower, blow-dry her hair and put on a dress she’d pulled from the back of her closet still with its' tags on in twenty-five minutes.

She finishes doing her face in ten and smiles when she notices she still has five minutes to spare. Lucy knows curls would go amazing with the outfit and it’s a glimpse of a memory that makes her plug the curler on.

She makes quick work, muscle memory taking over, but she’s not fast enough and the repetitive motion distracts her from the clock.

(“Y _ou look_ softer _, major.”_

_“I just… curled my hair again.”_

_“I know.”)_

Lucy is holding the last curl against the wand when her doorbell buzzes, startling her back to reality. She burns the tip of her finger and James laughs as she blames him.

“Not my fault you’re clumsy _and_ late.”

“What did you say?” She steps into the living room, wand in hand and pointed at him. He surrenders, chooses to check out her vinyl collection instead.

Five minutes and a minion band-aid later (honestly, she asks Winn to shop for her _once_ and he comes back with themed band-aids) they are on their way, traffic normal and moving. She’s half convinced that’s just the universe’s way to fuck with her.

“So,” James’ voice cuts through the music and the white noises of the city. “You’re doing it tonight, right?”

“Doing what?” Lucy keeps scrolling through her feed, pretending to be caught the in the vortex of Instagram.

“Don’t play dumb with me. You promised you’d do it tonight.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You. I'm talking about you finally asking Alura out.”

“When exactly did I promise to do that?”

“When you showed up at my door, hammered and mumbling about how much you _like_ her and how _pretty she is_ and how _smart and funny_ and how y’all _feel right together_.” He scrunches his nose, voice going up an octave and she knows he’s mocking her.

Although she only has flashes of that night, it does sound accurate.

“Well, I was drunk. You can’t seriously hold me to that.”

“Oh, I can. And I do. Time to pull your head out of your ass, Luce.”

Lucy sighs, grunts and seriously considers ignoring him. Something in her doesn’t let her, though. She chooses to stay quiet.

“Listen, I just want you to be happy.” He stops the car in front of the valet, puts a hand on her arm and her eyes click with his. “And you seem happy around her.”

“Yeah.” She nods. Flashing green eyes appear in her mind, a kind smile, a warmth she hasn’t felt since her first year with James.

He unlocks his seat belt, goes to open the door but-

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“We didn’t. I still love you, though.” He winks, leans over, kisses her cheek and gets out of the car.

Lucy runs her fingers through the skirt of her dress, smoothing invisible wrinkles. This is the last thing she wants to do and she isn’t sure she should do it. Still, she opens her door and steps out.

°°°°°

_“The stars here are beautiful. I miss them dearly when I am in the city.”_

_“Kara says the Kryptonian skies were gorgeous.”_

_Alura brings her eyes down and Lucy hates herself for taking a deeper breath at the sight._

_“Yes, they were. Our atmosphere was quite transparent, you see, and that lead to stars so clear it sometimes felt like we could touch them. Kara certainly tried to when she was a babe.”_

_“Do you miss that?”_

_“Which one, major? Kara being a child or Krypton?”_

_“Both, I guess.”_

_“Although I miss my home daily, I am beginning to see the wonders of this world as well.” Alura looks straight to her as she says it. Lucy suddenly feels incredibly out of breath. “And also, according to Alexandra, Kara is still very much a child.”_

_She smiles, chuckles, and fools herself into thinking her lungs go back to working regularly._

 

°°°°°

Everything looks _beautiful_. The roof is lit by a few well placed spotlights and the leftover areas gain a soft glow due to candles and paper lanterns. There are a couple of tables surrounding some rolls of chairs, all facing a small, circular platform.

She spots Winn, J’onn and M’gann on the other side of the place, the man talking and talking and talking and the couple only nodding. Lucy considers her chances of saving them without also being sucked in.

“Finally! Where have you been?” Kara is suddenly by their side, a clipboard in hand and eyebrows furrowed in that _i am trying not to freak out_ way. They open their mouths to answer. They don’t get to. “Doesn’t matter. James, your friend hasn’t delivered the cake yet, so I need you to call him and tell him to get here _now_ before Cat picks up the phone.”

“Shit, okay, I’m on it.” James nods, walking away while pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“And Luce, you’re good with make-up, right?”

“Uhm, I guess?”

“Good, I need you to do Astra’s.” Kara uses her free hand to wrap around Lucy’s waist and starts guiding her to the stairs that lead to Cat’s apartment.

“I thought y’all had hired a makeup artist for that.”

“Uhm… we did. My aunt fired him.”

“Why?”

Kara’s silent as they start taking the steps.

“Let’s just say she didn’t like his concept of beauty.”

“Kara…”

“It’s fine. It’s a simple party, so just do something simple. I would do it, except I don’t know _how_ _to_ and Cat doesn’t have the patience and we’re going to be late if she’s not ready in like, twenty minutes.”

“Alright.” They reach the apartment and she follows Kara through a few doors and corridors until finally reaching the living room (the only place she’s actually been in). Alex is slouching on the couch, a tux jacket carefully laid beside her and she looks _beautiful_. “Hey, Danvers.”

“Hey. You doing the makeup?”

“Yeah.”

Alex smirks and Lucy regrets accepting this already.

“Good luck.”

She flips Alex off before continuing to follow Kara down another hall.

Astra is pacing the room when they enter. Alura is sitting by the foot of a bed. Lucy looks away immediately. Everyone and everything is beautiful, but Alura is fucking _gorgeous_.

“Major, hello.” Astra nods in her direction, slowing down. “Are you here to try and do the painting?”

“The makeup?”

“Yes, is it not a sort of painting?” Astra stops, arms crossed and no matter the churning in her stomach, Astra is always Astra.

“Yeah…” She turns to Kara, who gives her a tight lipped smile.

“Cat said you can use her stuff and the guy we’d hired left some foundation he said should match. Ready in fifteen?” The blonde raises herself slightly to her tiptoes before immediately settling down again.

_(“kara’s still very much a child”)_

(she spares Alura a quick glance and the mischievous smile she finds tells her the woman thought of the same thing)

“I’ll try.”

Kara leaves, closes the door softly and Lucy doesn’t allow herself to hesitate, knows that’s usually a mistake when it comes to the General.

“Why don’t you sit here?” She pulls over a director’s chair, no doubt also left by the poor makeup artist. Astra looks at the seating, arms crossed.

“Sister.” Alura’s voice is in a soft yet stern tone.

“I do not want anything resembling a war paint, Major.”

“No one wants that.”

“Nothing alike those... _models_ that man showed me, either. They looked fine, but I simply do not want that on me.”

“That’s okay.”

“And I did not enjoy the feel of that thing you call foundation.”

“Listen, it’s your wedding. We can do whatever you want.” She has the sneaking suspicion this is not really about makeup, that it is more about the woman feeling nervous and agitated and scared of such a public affair. Astra has proven to be many things ever since she first arrived back on Earth. An extrovert has not been one of them.

“I want something simple.”

“Alright.” She nods, points to the chair once again and as the woman slowly moves towards it, Lucy inspects the products set out on the vanity. “Do you want something more like what I have on or something like Cat usually does?”

“I do like the way the Kitty uses her paint, yes.”

She chuckles, can only imagine the way Cat must fume by being called that.

Lucy selects what she’ll need and moves back towards the _bride_. She tries giving the woman a reassuring smile while she asks her to close her eyes.

Astra flinches when she starts, but soon settles.

Alura moves closer to them and Lucy focuses on not messing up the thin eyeliner she’s trying to apply. The woman doesn’t say anything at first, just takes her sister’s hand.

“We are skilled in many things, here, but this is not it.” Alura mumbles, leaning close to watch the thin brush moving through skin and eyelashes. Leaning insanely close to Lucy in the process.

“I learned the very basics when I was young.” Lucy manages to step back from the chair without brushing against Alura and she clicks the eyeliner shut before picking up the mascara. “And got a bit more into it, I guess, when I started working corporative and everyone always looked fresh off a commercial.”

She receives a look from both women (Astra opening her eyes without being told to and thank God she doesn’t have hooded eyelids).

“They were always very put together.” She explains, motions for Astra to stay still. Lucy touches the wand to the eyelashes carefully, her band-aided finger making it that much harder to hang on to the plastic piece.

She knows Alura notices, sees the smirk she tries to hold back by the corner of her eye.

Lucy slowly makes her away through Astra’s face and somehow finds herself narrating every step. Alura never leaves her side, doesn’t lean away that much, either. She grows used to it, adores the flowery perfume that somehow forms a bubble around them.

There’s a knock on the door followed by Kara entering the room once again.

“Ready?” The blonde asks.

“We’re almost done." She says over her shoulder before turning back to Astra. "Do you want lipstick?”

Astra sits up straighter, is still blinking a bit more than normal, getting used to the new weight on her eyes, but the woman nods.

“Which one?” She opens up three options, a nude one, a soft peach and a muted red.

“Those are very pretty colors.” Astra notes and Lucy pats herself on the back for winning the woman over. “However, I think the red would call too much attention and would probably stain Alexandra.”

She clenches her jaw not to snicker and nods. Astra points to the peach one and Lucy rolls it up, asking the woman to part her lips slightly.

“All done.” She steps away again and, this time, Alura is too close. Their arms knock together and Alura puts a hand on her elbow to steady her. Lucy feels the spot burning almost as much as her finger had.

Astra stands, turns to the mirror.

A smile slowly creeps up.

“Thank you, Major.”

Lucy shrugs, notices how only then does Alura’s hand leave her.

“No problem. But you _have_ to start calling me Lucy.”

Astra nods. Looks down at herself and

“You look stunning, aunt Astra.”

She doesn’t have to look back to know Kara is very close to crying.

There’s a hug, a few muffled words, and then Kara is pulling her aunt out of the room, rushing all of them to get to the roof.

She’s about to follow when-

“Lucy,” Alura tries the word, not the first time to say it, but definitely the first like that, no _major_ or any ranking adjective along. “Would you mind helping me with-”

She looks at the tube the woman holds. Discreetly let’s a bit of air go through her mouth.

“Of course.”

She reaches for the tube, fingers brushing against palm. Alura doesn’t make to sit down, only parts her lips once Lucy rolls the lipstick out and that is perfect when it comes to practicality, since her eyes come up just to the woman’s mouth, but… her eyes come just to her mouth. And it is too close and she feels Alura’s eyes on her the whole time. She focuses on the way the soft golden color glides against the lips. It is too much.

She only breathes again when she’s finished.

Astra looked beautiful. Alura looks gorgeous.

Lucy’s heart doesn’t stop pounding.

_(“you promised you’d do it tonight.”)_

She thinks about asking it then.

Thinks about smiling and _hey, Alura, there’s this really nice bar I know and they have karaoke night coming up. karaoke is like this machine that shows you the lyrics of the songs and you sing along and I think you’d really like it, people really seem to enjoy it and the food is great too and I thought perhaps you’d like to go there with me? it’s totally cool if you don’t want to but I thought I’d ask cause I kinda really like you and-_

“Thank you, Lucy.” Alura lays a hand against her upper arm, stops her rambling brain mid-thought. Alura seems to _wait_ but she doesn’t say anything, so: “I think we should go, otherwise my daughter may come back for us.”

“Yeah.” She nods.

The woman steps around her, waits for her and as they walk down the hall, Lucy hates that James was right. Her head really is up her ass.

°°°°°

_Alura has been laughing for two minutes straight and she’s pretty sure that’s her new favorite sound. They are in the middle of watching The Proposal and Sandra Bullock’s character has just tried to offer a puppy to an eagle in exchange for her cellphone. For some reason, Alura finds that scene extremely amusing._

_“Are all movies of this genre this entertaining?” Alura manages to ask, eyes still watering._

_“A lot of them, yeah.” Kara comments from the love seat, arm around Cat._

_“This is the best one, though.” Lucy says, predicting Alex’s complaint._

_“It is_ not _the best one.” Danvers sighs from her place on the ground. “You can’t say that just because she’s your celeb crush.”_

_Her heart skips a beat and she shifts in her seat as she stares at the back of her friend’s head. Thank God she’s not the one with laser eyes._

_“What are you talking about? Winn is the one with a crush on Sandra, Luce’s is Amy Schumer.” Kara speaks around a mouthful of popcorn and Lucy desperately wants to go back to the movie._

_“Excuse me, what do you know about who I have a crush on?” She turns to the blonde, notices how Cat is consciously staying out of it, gaze shifting between her and Alura. “And besides,” Lucy settles back down, sinking deeper into the couch. “This is not about that. This is about facts and the fact is that this is simply the best 2000’s rom-com.”_

_“You mean to tell me,” Alex spins around, stares at her, “That you think The Proposal is better than 500 days of summer?”_

_“As a rom-com? Yes!”_

_“Oh my God!” Alex lifts her hands, exasperated and Lucy tries to get into the argument, but her mind is still very much aware of the topic of a_ crush _while Alura is literally two feet away. “Did we watch the same movie?”_

_“It’s a good film, I’m not saying it isn’t, but when I think ‘rom-com’, I think easy movies with predictable plots and cheesy romance. 500 days is not that.”_

_“She’s right, Danvers.” Cat speaks up, reaching the popcorn in her girlfriend’s lap._

_“Oh, so now you decide to join in.” Alex shakes her head, lies back down beside Astra. “This movie is good, but not that good. You’re definitely impartial because of that crush.”_

_Her friend crosses her arms, a tell-tale sign of the end of a discussion and Lucy rolls her eyes, trying to keep the facade and about to hit play when_

_“I have a question.” Alura, with a calmer yet curious, says._

_“Yeah?”_

_“What exactly is this crush you’ve mentioned and how does one have it?”_

_She buries herself deeper in the cushion, stares at the TV like her life depends on it. Why the fuck is she like this?_

_“A crush is… someone you like or find attractive in some way.” Alex is the one who takes the plunge._

_“Oh,” Alura exhales and Lucy is weak, turns to look at her just as the woman apparently does the same. Their eyes meet momentarily, seemingly none of them willing to maintain the contact._

_“Alura has one, then.” Astra speaks for the first time._

_Kara squeals. Lucy tries to convince herself that doesn’t imply what she thinks it does._

°°°°°

She is tired of thinking that word. _Beautiful._ It is bland and beat up and should not describe her friend’s wedding so perfectly. But it does.

Alex and Astra walk down the aisle together, hand in hand. Alex in her black suit, the velvety fabric contrasting with the rough corset her friend wears underneath. Astra in her red, flowery dress. Lucy had never thought Astra would choose something like it, but she had loved it ever since she’d seen it on that room and it compliments what Alex wears in a simple, unique way. She is sure they didn’t think of it, sure it’s just yet another way they _work_ as a unit. Eliza, J’onn and Kara all stand around the altar, joined hands extended in a circle. Alura performs the ceremony, smile bright as she recites words, first in English and later in Kryptonian.

As they say their vows, just loud enough so the rest of them feel invited to a private conversation, Lucy can’t take her eyes off Alura. The woman looks at peace, happy and excited, but right where she belongs. It is a wonder to see and she realizes that, out of all their conversations, she’s never asked the woman about why she’d chosen to be a judge, why she’d chosen to be a part of such a difficult Consel, if she liked it. If it had even been a choice.

It gives her pause, makes something warm and pulling gain more drive within her. She wants to learn more and more and more about Alura.

She claps along with everyone else as her friends kiss, Astra wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist and shooting up in the air, lips still touching. They all follow the two into midair with their eyes, but hers come back sooner, back to Alura and they meet bright green ones in return.

 _Gorgeous_ , her mind whispers and for fuck’s sake.

People start to move around as the couple touch the ground once again, Kara making quick work with the chairs, freeing what is bound to be the dance floor and soon enough they are all seated, a couple waiters serving drinks and appetizers.

Kara starts calling names, asking for speeches.

Eliza goes first, voice watery and smile big enough that Lucy’s sure it must hurt. She’s actually quite engrossed in it until

“Is this seat taken?”

She turns slightly, finds those same green eyes looking down at her.

“Nope.”

Alura sits and Lucy pushes the plate of appetizers she’d manage to snatch right from the waiter’s tray towards her. The woman bites into a mini chicken sandwich, eyelids closing and a soft moan escaping.

“I do underestimate how fast our organisms consume calories here.” Alura sighs, pulling the plate closer to her. “We had eaten shortly before you arrived and I somehow feel as if I’m starving.”

“That’s our yellow sun for ya.” She smiles, sips her champagne. “Aren’t you going up there?” Lucy points to where Eliza is hugging Alex.

“Under immense coercion.” Alura makes her way through the mini-food, managing to never speak with her mouth full. “I am extremely averted to public speaking, but my dear sister has convinced me to do it.”

“You’re a judge, doesn’t that come with the job?” She pats herself on the back for the smooth inquiry, her only reassurance being that mind reading isn’t among the Kryptonians abilities.

“It does,” The woman finishes eating, wipes her fingers on a napkin before using it to dab around her mouth. “And I am very good at doing it while on duty. Still, I am not good whatsoever in doing it when it comes to more personal events. I, in fact, have made quite a fool of myself, as you say, during Astra’s first wedding, although I guess her marriage to Non was never really about sentimentally, but, yet-”

Lucy puts a hand on Alura’s wrist. She’s never seen the woman this way and it makes her smile. It reminds her of her confusion on the dressing room and it makes her smile because maybe this is okay and maybe it’s not just her and those green eyes look at her with agitation and nervousness and something Lucy guesses is the searching for comfort. Maybe it’ll be okay.

“You’re gonna do great.” She gives a curt nod, a soft squeeze against the warm wrist. They hear the applause and she’s forced to let go to clap along.

“And now, for the other part of the family, Mom, would you like to say a few words?” Kara looks in their direction, every head in the place shortly following the gesture.

Lucy watches as Alura’s posture changes, straightens, becomes confident and her lips form an easy grin.

She listens to a tale about a planet long gone and a childhood shared as twins, as a glitch in a supposedly perfect system and how such a thing can bond two people together. She listens and she’s in awe and James catches her attention briefly, his eyebrows raising in a quick motion as he looks back at her.

 _Do it_ , he mouths.

 _I will_ , she mouths back.

That pulling warmth in her chest lets her know she’s got no other choice.

°°°°°

_“So… Alura’s gone.” Lucy stops at Winn’s desk, heart pounding and mind freaking out because this is the second time they have an alien on the loose that day and it had taken all her convincing powers to make J’onn trust that she could keep things under control as he and M’gann went on their honeymoon._

_She’s fucked and she is trying her hardest to seem okay. The least people know about it, the easiest it will be to keep the incident a secret. Besides, it’s Alura. She’s not exactly dangerous. Has laser eyes and freeze breath and the strength to probably lift the whole building into space, but not she’s not_ dangerous _._

_“Can you… uhm… sort some kind of tracking algorithm? Her guards don’t know how long she’s been gone for and the camera outside her room was being replace.” She leans against his desk, forces herself to take in small portions of air. This is fine. She’s been trained for high-tension situations, she’s been in charge before. It’s got nothing to do with the last fight she had with her dad, nothing to do with him being right when he said she only grew in this business because she’s his daughter. It’s all fine._

_“I can, but,” Win pushes his chair back a little, eyeing her with a touch of fear and her mind comes into focus, she stares at him. “I kinda don’t need to?”_

_“What?” She stands._

_“Don’t be mad, okay? I saw her go into the sun room and she said she needed some time and she’s Kara’s mom, so it’s not like she’s going to try to kill us or anything and-”_

_“And you couldn’t have told me?” She pushes his shoulder and he rolls a bit further away from her before she grabs his chair’s armrest and pulls him back over._

_“I was going to…” He shrinks under her gaze and_ good _. He should be mindful of her. “But we got these super old Saturnian scriptures, so I started developing a program to decipher them and I sorta… forgot.”_

_Winn has this cheesy smile as he says it. She sees the childish glee in his eyes as he mentions the document. He’s an idiot, that friend of hers._

_“You better pray to God she’s still there.”_

_Lucy walks away from him, tries not to run as she makes her way to the sun room. It is second nature to look around before twisting the handle and opening the door. She enters quickly, closing herself in just as fast._

_Her eyes take a moment to adjust to the new light, screamingly different from the fluorescent ones they have illuminating the DEO._

_She finds Alura sitting in one of the sofas._

_(Kara had asked for this room as soon as Astra had crashed through the surface, alive but weaker than any living being could be. It was a rehabilitation center and afterwards… it had slowly become an unofficial bunk room.)_

_Lucy approaches the woman carefully, still unsure how much is too much when it comes to the twins. Astra is clearer to read, strict but kind, loosening up as time progresses. Alura hasn’t been here long enough for Lucy to figure her out yet._

_She sits on the other side of the couch, tugs her hands in between her legs._

_The woman’s face has tear tracks running down her cheeks, but no tears and she suspect that’s due to Alura’s quick hand motions as she’d approached._

_“Major.” A curt nod, no try at an apology, no try at an explanation. Just an acknowledgement. Lucy sighs._

_“Kara did a really nice job decorating.” She looks around, notices again how soft everything feels._

_“Oh,” Alura also runs her eyes through the place, lingering more in each individual element. “I did not know my daughter had been the one responsible.”_

_“Yeah. But I guess Cat had something to do with it as well.”_

_“This Cat person must be really knowledgeable about_ fashion _, if you all speak so highly of her. Kara surely seems to think her worthy of the world.”_

_“She’s alright. She’s really been there for Kara, though.”_

_“So I’ve heard.” Alura shifts her posture, leans against her knees, palms against her face. “It is incredible how much you miss when you sleep for forty years, isn’t it?”_

_Lucy pauses, sighs. This is complicated. This is emotional. She is not sure she should be the one to deal with it._

_(Kara is her friend and this is her friend’s mom and this is someone that has only just woken up to find her world long destroyed and a huge portion of her daughter’s life lived without her.)_

_“You have time to catch up.”_

_“Uhm, maybe.” Alura nods, sits back against the sofa, turns her head towards Lucy for the first time. “But will it ever be enough? To know about my daughter’s past without having been with her for it?”_

_“I mean… she’s your kid. I never saw her as happy as when we opened that pod and you were there. The bond you two had is still here.”_

_“A bond doesn’t equal a successful relationship, Major. My sister and I are proof of that.” Alura’s voice turns bitter, harsh. She sees the woman’s shoulder deflate a moment later. “I am sorry. That was… how is it you call it?”_

_“Uncalled for.” She smirks, turns a bit more towards her._

_“Yes, uncalled for. My apologies.”_

_“It’s fine.”_

_There is a moment of silence, a moment where she feels Alura deciding whether or not she is trustworthy enough to have this conversation with._

_“I was not raised to feel anything but belonging. Anything but rational. I am well aware I had no control over how long Kara stayed in the Phantom Zone, or how long I stayed there, for that matter. I am well aware I decided to send my sister to Fort Rozz. I know all that’s happened was and was not in my power. I know my daughter is happy to see me and I know my sister has changed. I know this is where I belong now. However, I cannot help but to feel-”_

_“Inadequate.” Lucy tries not to think of her father. Of her job and whether her whole career has been a lie._

_“Exactly.” Alura looks away, but those green eyes quickly return to hers. “And this is not… normal for me, to be frank.”_

_“It doesn’t have to be.” Lucy shakes her head, shrugs. “I’ve only witnessed what Astra went through and she had to adapt. It wasn’t normal for her to find out her husband was dead and her forces were gone. It wasn’t normal for Kara to find her aunt alive_ again _. It definitely wasn’t normal for Alex to find out the person she killed was back. They had to find a new normal. It took some time.” She risks reaching a hand out, laying it on the woman’s shoulder briefly. “You’ll do the same.”_

_Alura looks at her, analyzing and Lucy always forgets how, in these moments, it becomes glaringly obvious how truly inhuman they are. The stillness, the concentration._

_Finally, Alura manages a small smile._

_“Maybe you’re right, Major.”_

°°°°°

It’s well into the middle of the party before she finds Alura again. Winn pulled Lucy into the dance floor as soon as they started playing more upbeat songs and it’s when he does something resembling the stanky leg that she loses it. She’s trying to catch her breath when she feels eyes on her. Lucy turns, finds the Kryptonian smiling at her from the bar.

She moves to go there, but

“Hey, hey, hey, where are you going?” Winn shouts over the music.

“To get away from your awful dancing.” She laughs. “I’m gonna go get something to drink. Do you want anything?” She offers James. He takes a look at the bar. Smirks.

“I’m good.” He winks, turning to scream at Winn and his ridiculous dance moves.

Lucy chuckles as she pushes her way through the crowd. She spots Kara and Cat in a corner, animatedly talking, the older woman more loose with Kara's arms around her than she's ever seen her. It’s a beautiful night (if she thinks of that word again she will explode).

“Hey.” She smiles as she finally arrives beside Alura.

“Hi.”

Lucy turns to the barman, asks for an ice tea before focusing on the reason she'd come. Her heart starts picking up speed.

“You seem to be having fun over there.” Alura has that mischievous smirk again.

Good gracious.

“In between trying not to get hit, yes.” She nods, spares a glance to her friends. There’s a two feet radius of free space around Winn and his limbs. “You should try it sometime.”

“Oh, no. We did not have such a _freestyle_ dance in Krypton. I’m afraid I would be very bad at it.”

Lucy thanks the barman as he hands her her cup, taking a sip before replying.

“Being good is certainly not stopping _some_ people.”

Alura laughs, covers her mouth with her hand and this is it, this right here pulls her head out of her ass.

“Sometimes you just gotta do stuff because you want to.” She continues.

“Perhaps so, but I don’t think I still have the strength for it tonight. I am quite hungry.” Alura rests her champagne glass on the counter, takes a piece of crust from the whole pizza beside her as good measure.

(The food served is so typically Danvers/Kryptonians that she rolls her eyes at the perfection of it all.)

“You guys really need to learn to have a feast before these things.” She smiles, takes yet another sip from her tea, buys herself some time. Luckily, Alura doesn’t seem to mind.

A white laser light starts flickering on and off on the dance floor and Lucy notices how it contrasts with Alura’s dress, the deep burgundy fabric seemingly black under it.

She wants to find out if that was her first choice, if she loves the color or if someone helped her pick it. Lucy sighs. Now or never, she guesses.

“Hey, Alura?”

“Uhm?” Only when the woman gives a muffled reply is that she realizes Alura is biting into a slice of pizza.

Maybe that’s even better. Maybe that way she can get it out.

“Listen, I…. wanted to ask you something.”

The woman nods as she chews, _go ahead._

“Uhm...I…” She takes another sip from her cup. _For fuck’s sake_. “There’s this really nice bar I know and they have karaoke night coming up. Karaoke is like this machine that shows you the lyrics of the songs and you sing along and I think you’d really like it, people really seem to enjoy it and the food is great too and I thought perhaps you’d like to go there with me?” Alura swallows and puts the pizza down. Lucy doesn’t notice. “It’s totally cool if you don’t want to but I thought I’d ask cause I kinda really like you and there’s a million things about you I want to know more about but if you don’t want to or rather go there with Kara or Astra or anyone else, it’s totally fine and I can give you the address, it’s going to be on a Thursday night and-”

A hand takes her free one. Soft, warm, steadying.

“It seems like a very nice place.” Alura smiles, doesn’t take her hand away.

“It- it is.”

“I would love to go,” A pause, a nod. Lucy is not totally sure what it means but then “with you.”

Oh. Oh. Her heart leaps. She smiles again.

“That’s- that’s great.” Her smile widens. Her cool, chill self would be ashamed.

She doesn’t know what to say after that and eventually Alura lets go of her hand, taking a sip from her own drink.

“I have a question, however.”

“Uhm, sure.” Her throat feels tight all over again.

“Does this constitute a date?” Alura looks at her, face unreadable and it is just her luck, to allow herself to get comfortable with something without everything being clear.

“Maybe? I mean, only if you want to.”

“Do you?” Alura deadpans.

“Sorta?” An arched brow makes her rephrase. “Yeah, I do.”

Alura pauses, slowly allows her mouth back into a smile and a glint appears in her eyes. It takes Lucy’s breath away.

“Good.” Alura says, no amount of doubt in her voice.

Lucy thinks she might need to sit down.

**Author's Note:**

> fic title from dangerous times, by cher


End file.
